Step 2: Repentance

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The steps of repentance come as we develop faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Once we come to the level of trust in Him, we can begin to repent.

Much of repentance is letting go of what we have. I cannot grab the next rung on the ladder until I let go of the one I am on. For many, this is a scary proposition. 

The act of repentance is one of submission. I no longer do what I want to do, rather I do the will of the Lord. 

As I repent, I put off what is not of God, such as my natural inclinations and desires. 

Since sin is knowing and choosing evil, there must be a way to change, or to turn around when we find we are going the wrong way. This is the path of repentance. 

Repentance is not an event, it is a process. It takes time to change. I experience more evil and temptation as I go along. As I learn more, I find more things of which I must repent. Thus, life is often seen as a period of probation where we have time to change our lives and prove ourselves, where we prepare to meet God, or to prepare for our eternal existence.

"…there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead." (Alma 12:24)

The process of repentance is also different for each person. We mostly walk around oblivious to our lost and fallen state. We do not know we are sinners, assuming we are basically good. We do not even know what sin is, and we do not know we have sinned until the Holy Ghost tells us. When we see ourselves as sinners, and understand our sins, only then can we begin the repentance process. The following a several examples of people who were brought to know they were sinners:

On the day of Pentacost, the Apostles were teaching many people about Jesus Christ. "Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do?" (Acts 2:37)

King Benjamin taught his people about the Lord, Jesus Christ, "And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth." (Mosiah 4:1-2)

Amulek taught Zeezrom about sin and eternal torment. "And it came to pass that Zeezrom was astonished at the words which had been spoken; and he also knew concerning the blindness of the minds, which he had caused among the people by his lying words; and his soul began to be harrowed up under a consciousness of his own guilt; yea, he began to be encircled about by the pains of hell." (Alma 14:6)

Alma the younger was visited by an angel who told him he was on the path of destruction. "I was struck with such great fear and amazement lest perhaps I should be destroyed, that I fell to the earth and I did hear no more. But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments. Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror." (Alma 36:11-14)

Paul was on the way to persecute Christians in Damascus, "And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." (Acts 9:3-6)

Until these were told in no uncertain terms that they were sinners, they didn’t know they had sins. This is the way it works. We cannot repent until we know we have sinned.

Those of us who do not see the Lord, or an angel, or hear a voice, have other means to see our sins. For example, we can ask the Lord to show us our sins so we can know. A young man who came to Jesus asked what he needed to do to gain eternal life. Jesus told him to keep the commandments. Then, “The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?” (Matthew 19:20) The young man was loved by Jesus. We can find our sins in a similar manner. We can pray and ask the Lord to show us how we can repent.

The Process of Repentance

Once we know our sins, the process of repentance is the easiest part, and often the hardest part. First, we simply stop doing what we were doing, and then we need a mighty change of heart, to where we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. We submit our will to the will of God. The repentant sinner…

"…yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)

When I was in the fifth grade, I liked a girl, and wrote a letter to her. In the letter I misspelled the word "maybe" putting instead "mabye." The girl wrote back, correcting my spelling error. I was embarrassed because I have always considered myself intelligent beyond reproach (ha ha), so I never forgot that. I will never misspell "maybe" again! I have fully repented. The girl, I'm sure, has totally forgotten about it (and me), and will never remember it. This is how the Lord feels when we repent. 

"Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more." (D&C 58:42)

When a person has changed and no longer has any evil desires, what they did in the past is not relevant. Nobody cares – not even God. This is the power of repentance.

A broken heart

Thus, there is a single requirement for all to repent, a broken heart. The heart represents all our wants, needs and desires. All the things of the world upon which we set our hearts must die. We may grieve for them. Our heart is broken as we relinquish all we desire of the world that prevents us from keeping the commandments of God.

The word repentance refers to turning. We turn our hearts away from our desires for the things of the world and towards our desires for the things of God. We must have a broken heart as we turn away from the world, and a contrite spirit as we turn towards God, submitting our will to His.

"And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit." (3 Nephi 9:20)

Ultimately, repentance is less about what we do, or what we have done, and more about what we are. The point is not to be a repentant sinner, but to have a mighty change of heart so we no longer desire to do evil, but to do good continually. Thus, the goal of repentance is to have a mighty change of heart, and no longer be a sinner. We start off as a repentant sinner, but once we have repented of all our sins, we become pure. 

"Now they, after being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God, could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence; and there were many, exceedingly great many, who were made pure and entered into the rest of the Lord their God." (Alma 13:12)

Their garments are white, clean, pure, spotless. In other words, there are no sins to stain their garments. They are clean. Moreover, they abhor sin in any form. They are changed from being an enemy of God to being submissive, always doing the will of God. They are changed from seeking their own wills, trying to fill their own wants, needs, and desires, to always seeking the will of God. In this state, they are worthy, ready, to live with God, to dwell in His kingdom, to be with Him forever. This is the end result of repentance. This is who you want to be when you stand before the judgment bar of God, with Christ as your advocate. Your garments are clean and white. You can stand up. There is nothing to hide. You will not seek darkness in which to hide. You will not have any shame, guilt, or embarrassment. And, your sins will not be mentioned because they are no longer relevant. You are a child of Christ, a son of God.

Forgive

Once we have repented of all our sins, we have one requirement to take advantage of the atonement of Jesus Christ and be forgiven, and that is to forgive. 

"For, if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (3 Nephi 13:14-15)

We must relinquish our rights to justice on those who have hurt us in any way. We have a right. Justice requires that the guilty are punished and the innocent sufferer recompensed. We deserve recompense, and those who hurt us deserve punishment. We want justice to be served in both ways. God is required to meet out justice perfectly, so all acknowledge his fairness. We are independent of God and require Him to fulfill His part of equality in all things. 

However, as we discussed, we can relinquish justice in favor of mercy. When we let go of all justice, neither demanding punishment for the wicked, nor recompense for our suffering, then we can live in mercy, and will be given mercy. Mercy is obtained because of the atonement of Jesus Christ. He holds mercy in His hands, and gives freely to all who are merciful, because He can, He has the power; He holds the keys. Without Him, there is only justice, no matter how much we desire and give mercy. We do not deserve mercy, but we obtain it by being merciful. He gives us power to be merciful.

Deathbed repentance

Some feel that they can sin all they want and when they die, they will “be beaten with a few stripes” and then go to Heaven. This “Universalist” doctrine may work with justice but does not work with Heaven. No unclean thing can dwell in Heaven, and change does not happen without the person initiating it. We are not changed from the outside, but rather from the inside. Being punished for sins does not make us clean; we are only clean when our hearts are changed.

The mighty change of heart takes time. We are given time to prepare, to receive His image in our countenances. Now is the time to prepare, now is the time to repent. Now is the time to change.

"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors. And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed. Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world. For behold, if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death, behold, ye have become subjected to the spirit of the devil, and he doth seal you his; therefore, the Spirit of the Lord hath withdrawn from you, and hath no place in you, and the devil hath all power over you; and this is the final state of the wicked." (Alma 34:32-35)

In other words, if you have not taken the time to repent during your time here, then the spirit of God is not in you now and will not be with you when you die. The spirit of the devil that possesses your body now is the same that will possess your body in the next life.

There is no such thing as deathbed repentance, or, rather, we do not change in an instant. We are what we are, and change happens with a lot of effort. Once we come to the night of darkness, no labor can be performed, and we are stuck. When the grim reaper comes to take you and you say, “I need some more time” he will say, “I gave you 50 (or whatever) years, how much more time do you need?” Now is the time. 

Returning to Sin

Others who repented and turned away from sin return to what they were doing before. They hear the word and receive it with joy but return to the things of the world.

"But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:22)

Sin does not stop being enticing just because we repent. There are still desires of the flesh that are not being fulfilled. I knew someone who had faith, repented, was baptized, and after twenty years she left the church and completely changed her lifestyle. She divorced her husband, who remained faithful, and she began to live the high life with wine, parties, and Sabbath day revelry. She had always wanted to do these things and felt like she was missing out on life by seeking the Lord. She turned back to the world, and away from God. She is happy in her decision.

And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God. And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." (Luke 9:59-62)

 Repentance is all, or nothing. First I must let go of everything of the world. And, second, I must remain faithful until the end -- the end of my life. Repentance must be a constant part of my probation on the earth. 

"...he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." (Mark 13:13)

Procrastination

Some feel that since forgiveness is possible, then we can put off repentance. They decide to live in sin, following their own desires, doing their own will, and continuing to be an enemy to God and repent later. 

This is the path I chose. I did not go directly into the Promised Land when I was first in front of it so I could “experience the world” a little first. This led to “wandering in the wilderness for forty years” before I had cleansed the inner vessel and qualified for baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost.

I can assure you that putting off repentance is not wise, no matter what. It always leads to heartache. I worked with a temple worker who left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an adolescent. He was married, raised a family, and worked all his life without the benefit of the Church program. After his children all went their own ways, and his wife died, he began to look around at what life was all about. He came back to church, repented and is serving others, finding happiness for the first time. His greatest regret is that now his children are not interested in learning about Jesus Christ because he raised them without any instruction in the gospel.

The other type of procrastination of repentance is to wait until after death. Some believe that they can still be forgiven in the end.

"And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God." (2 Nephi 28:8)

This “universalist philosophy” is pervasive in our culture. Many believe that a loving God would never make His children suffer so all will be saved in the end. They decide to follow the desires of the flesh like “it’s easier to receive forgiveness than permission.” They may believe that the punishment for doing as they please is light, and then they can go to heaven with everyone else. This is false, and foolish. The scriptures are clear that the wages of sin is death, and the punishment is bad, really bad. The Lord describes how bad it is since He experienced it.

"For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I humble you with my almighty power; and that you confess your sins, lest you suffer these punishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have tasted at the time I withdrew my Spirit." (D&C 19:16-20)

There is no allowance for sin. We are here to repent of all our sins. We must be about the business of repentance, or we will suffer the consequences of our actions. First, there is the suffering required by the law of justice, the suffering of the damned, then second, we cannot be let into the kingdom of God unless we are washed clean. 

Repent of ALL sin

The process of repentance is not repenting for each of our sins, but rather all of them.

"if thou wilt repent of all thy sins, and will bow down before God, and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest." (Alma 22:16)

There is no place where we are told that some sins may be forgiven while others are not. It is not what we have done that matters in repentance, it’s what we are. If we have become cleansed of all sins, washed in the blood of the Lamb, and have no more disposition to do evil but to do good continually, then we have no sins at all. We are no longer sinners. There is not a single sin allowed in the kingdom of heaven.

"For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven; And he that repents not, from him shall be taken even the light which he has received; for my Spirit shall not always strive with man, saith the Lord of Hosts." (D&C 1:31-33)

Thus, repentance is not a process of changing each sin, we should not focus on sin at all. Rather it is a process of coming into compliance with the will of God. The individual sins are not important, only our willingness to give up all sin. Keeping one will exclude us from heaven so one or a million is enough. The object of repentance is to abhor all sin.

"Now they, after being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God, could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence; and there were many, exceedingly great many, who were made pure and entered into the rest of the Lord their God." (Alma 13:12)

This is not a matter of semantics, it’s an important way to assess and understand our own repentance. We are not repentant as long as we have any sins. Moreover, we do not need to enumerate our sins, and pay the price for all the sins we are not aware of. We do not need to focus on our sins at all. Our focus is essential to our trajectory. Our only focus is not sin, but righteousness. We only need to think about the word of God, and how we are going to be obedient. We do not seek out our sins, rather seek the Holy Ghost, because “it will show unto you all things what ye should do.” (2 Nephi 32:5)

Sometimes the Holy Ghost will show us a specific sin for which we need to repent. This can be persistent. As a young man, when I was caught up in the things of the world, the Spirit would whisper in my mind, “…lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4). I heard the voice, I knew the scripture, and I knew I needed to repent, but it was many years before my heart was changed so that I no longer desired to do evil. It is no longer an issue, I have repented, and my heart is changed – and I no longer hear that scripture repeated in my mind. It is no longer relevant.

Sin is Loss

For all those who think they can sin now and repent later, there is a caveat. When we sin, we lose a blessing we might have had if we had not sinned. The Lord is quick to forgive the repentant sinner at any stage of life, however those who repent early receive a greater reward. The idea that “it is easier to receive forgiveness than permission” is true. It is absolutely true. The Lord will forgive even those sins committed in open rebellion against His word. However, “I will repent later” brings terrible losses which are never recovered.

Everyone has a portion given to them. It is just what they have chosen in life. There is the lesser portion for those who are not obedient. Moreover, those who feel like they have enough have that which they had taken away from them. It is lost. Gone is gone. There is no going back. I found after I had lost a great deal of money, it’s gone. Just gone. There is no going back. I made the wrong decision but I can’t go back and try again. The real world is not like a Super Mario Brothers video game where I can re-spawn if I die. I cannot get back what was lost. I just have to move forward from my lesser state. 

Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, “what good is it to me if I die of hunger?” He had something and lost it. It is gone, there is no going back. He tried asking Isaac for another blessing and received a different blessing.

Martin Harris lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon. They are gone. There is no getting them back. I can’t read them because he didn’t listen.

Thirteen modern apostles have been excommunicated, and though six returned and were re-baptized, they lost their apostolic calling. They remained members and had some positions of responsibility but did not get back what was lost.

King David had something, but lost it because of sin, and has now received his portion. He chose to commit adultery and kill and fell from his exaltation. Though repented, he did not get back what was lost.

Judas may repent and be forgiven, but that does not mean he returns to his position as an apostle of Jesus Christ.

It is true that the Lord is quick to forgive those who stray and repent, but there is a loss that does not come back. Alma explains that those who were faithful received the priesthood, while others who were not faithful in our life before we came to earth do not have this option.

"And thus they have been called to this holy calling on account of their faith, while others would reject the Spirit of God on account of the hardness of their hearts and blindness of their minds, while, if it had not been for this they might have had as great privilege as their brethren." (Alma 13:4)

The Lord explained to the early saints that they might have received the promised blessings of Zion, but they transgressed the laws.

"Behold, I say unto you, were it not for the transgressions of my people, speaking concerning the church and not individuals, they might have been redeemed even now." (Doctrine and Covenants 105:2)

Those who do not repent are left out of the kingdom of heaven, and do not get another opportunity.

"...they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received." (Doctrine and Covenants 88:32)

The blessings of obedience are lost when I disobey. When I come to a fork in the road, I must decide to go down one of them. Once I choose a road the other option is lost forever. Once something is lost, it is lost. There is no going back. If I choose to disobey God, the consequence is always loss of the blessing I might have received. I do not get back what was lost while I was being disobedient. 

One big decision that has haunted me is when I decided to get married outside the temple. I had promised the Lord that I would not marry outside the temple, but I later chose otherwise. I did so because it was not convenient to go to the temple. But my choice was not in the plan of God; there was a reason He asked me to make that promise. He was warning me of what was to come. I agreed. But instead, when it came to making the decision, I followed my own plan, which did not go well. Marriage was hard, and ended in divorce, and all my children left the covenant path. Many years later, I was given a glimpse of what my life would have been like if I had chosen to keep my promise to the Lord to only marry in the temple. I am so sad at what I have lost, I want to cry all the time. My way was not better. My way sucks. I want what I lost, but there is no way to go back and start over. It is gone. I mourn the loss. I mourn what I might have had if I had been faithful. 

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.” (John Greenleaf Whittier)

When I chose not to keep my promise, my opportunity is just gone. I just lost that possibility for growth. He gave me an opportunity to increase, but I declined, and lost what I might have had. I came back, and was forgiven, and the Lord has been merciful to teach me many things, but I cannot get back what I lost. 

Every single decision I make matters -- every one. There is no decision that is immaterial. It all matters. God only wants me to grow and have all that I can. He gives me opportunities to grow. If I do not take them, then I do not grow. He only gives me commandments for one reason -- for my benefit, for my growth. He is perfectly patient with me, allowing me to choose freely and forgiving me when I do not obey. Each commandment is an opportunity for growth. If I do not obey, I lose the opportunity.

I have thought that I controlled the blessings of the Lord, that I decided what I needed, and I would ask Him, and He would give it to me. Now, however, I think He controls the blessings by giving me commandments. When I am obedient, I receive the blessing He offers me, but if I decline, I lose it – maybe forever. Like Esau, I can ask for that blessing, but it may no longer be available. I will have other opportunities for other blessings, but that one is gone forever.

The process of repentance is a gift from God. Only those who desire to know God and Jesus Christ will go through this process. It requires faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, which is a gift from God to all those who believe in Him and keep His commandments. While repentance is beautiful, and wonderful, merciful, kind, and filled with grace, only obedience brings blessings. Do not put off repentance.

Ultimately, the process of repentance brings me to unity with God. I no longer have a separate will. I am part of something bigger and much more powerful. I am a cell in the body of Christ. I am no longer at odds with Him. I am no longer His enemy. Rather, I am one with Him. My will is lost in His will. I have repented of all my rebelliousness. I am completely submissive to His will. I only do His will. I am part of Him. I use my will to decide to do His will at all times, becoming one with Him. I willingly sacrifice my will in submission to His. All who repent and come to Him are one with Him. I am one with all who repent -- we become one. The purpose of repentance is to relieve myself of all that is not of God and become part of Him.